I rarely have time for TV these days, but the other night, I caught part of the movie “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner. In this movie, just like in all of the versions of “A Christmas Carol,” the main character gets to see glimpses of past, present, and future. Sometimes, these are scenes that the person was not actually a part of, so it answers questions for them about why things turned out the way they did and gives them insight into how their actions affect other people.
Today P.J. was readmitted to the hospital. Over the past few weeks, we have watched him make a rapid decline, and have been powerless to help him. I was so sad last night because I knew what today might bring. At the same time, I was so tired… tired from the physical strain of busy schedules, numerous appointments, nights with interrupted sleep and from the emotional strain of being a parent not able to help my child, and the guilt of feeling like surely we must not be doing something right.
Sometimes I wonder if I had the opportunity to glimpse past, present, or future, what would I see and how would it make me feel? Would I have some anwers about what things had happened to take us to where we are today? Would it matter? Would it change anything?
In the movies, Scrooge and Connor Mead (McConaughey’s character) both change into better people overnight. McConaughey converts from a womanizing dog who believes that “love is magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated” to declaring his love for Jenny (Garner’s character) and coming to a new realization: “Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less.” Can I get an “Amen?”
Who else can you care for more than your children? So where is the happiness in that caring when you can’t give them what they need? You can’t make them eat when they are starving themselves to death, you can’t make them heal when their bodies are just worn out. What a frustrating situation for a control freak like me to have no control.
As synical as the above may sound, I really do think that happiness comes more from caring more about people than less. What would that glimpse into the future tell me about P.J.’s journey? Would happiness come from that? I have to trust in God that it would and believe Him for a miracle for my boy. Prayers are always appreciated as we continue to fight this battle with P.J. May God bless us, everyone!
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